Big news up north this week, Steve Bruce was sacked as Sunderland manager. Bruce, who allegedly worked as a stunt double for Shrek and Jabba The Hutt, was given the boot after leading his team to a dizzying 16th in the Premier League. Whilst still in charge Sloth was asked about his precarious position as Sunderland boss, to which he replied he had no intention of walking away from the Stadium of Light. Of course he didn’t, with the money sacked managers are getting these days it’s hardly surprising is it, I mean come on if I was picking up millions of pounds after getting the boot for being shit I’d have only ever worked one job in my life.
I’m A Celebrity has finished its annual 3 week run, with McFly bassist Dougie Poynter beating Towie’s Mark Wright in the final show down in which he ate such delicacies as Ostrich Anus and Bush Pig’s Penis, sounds like a normal McFly post gig session if you ask me. Despite losing to the youngster Mark Wright has been tipped to accumulate immense wealth in the coming year from lucrative TV and sponsorship deals, he’ll have his own fragrance, named after him out in time for Christmas, it’s called Twat for Men and smells like a bears arsehole.
I’m A Celebrity has finished its annual 3 week run, with McFly bassist Dougie Poynter beating Towie’s Mark Wright in the final show down in which he ate such delicacies as Ostrich Anus and Bush Pig’s Penis, sounds like a normal McFly post gig session if you ask me. Despite losing to the youngster Mark Wright has been tipped to accumulate immense wealth in the coming year from lucrative TV and sponsorship deals, he’ll have his own fragrance, named after him out in time for Christmas, it’s called Twat for Men and smells like a bears arsehole.
News reports have come in from Japan where at least 11 Supercars have been involved in a pileup. The convoy of 8 Ferraris, 3 Mercedes and a Lamborghini were travelling along a highway heading towards the city of Hiroshima, initial reports of an epic blast of nuclear proportions were found to be untrue and at least 66 years out of date. On the scene Highway Patrol Officer Eiichiro Kamitani told reporters ‘’ I have never seen such a thing, Ferraris rarely travel in such large numbers “, I can confirm this to be true as it’s a well known fact anyone who owns a Ferrari is a flash cock who doesn’t usually have any friends to cruise around with.
Finally I leave you this week with the news that a topless barbers in Norwich is facing closure after nearby residents complained, 100% of those that complained were women with saggy, dry and empty boobies whose husbands had gone to get their haircut and simply not returned. Clearly going to the barbers is the equivalent of going out to get milk for Norwich males.JD
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