Monday, 28 November 2011

Jd's Eye View 28th Novemeber 11

Christmas is but 4 weeks away, this revelation will cause a different reaction depending on your sex:
 If you’re a woman you’ve done all your shopping and are now kicking back planning your New Years rave-up, if you’re a bloke it means 3 more weeks left of partying until you have to bite the bullet and take to the high streets, panic buying shite gifts that your loved ones will take back on Boxing Day.
It seems that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost in the past few years, for those that do not know the true meaning it is this; Christmas means dark nights, cold weather and worst of all the return of the deadly MAN-FLU.
When I get man-flu my bird complains that men know nothing of illness and pain and that they should give birth and then they will know what true suffering is, I have the perfect reply for this idiotic comment ‘’piss off you silly cow I have to put up with man-flu and you, there is no worse pain than that’’ of course as I had man-flu it used to come out completely incoherent and I am able to keep my testicles and penis intact for another week.
Keeping with the Christmas theme I have noticed an increasing number of people have put their Christmas decorations up already, this is absolutely ludicrous and a little stupid as me and my friends will be spotting the ones who have lights switch off and promptly burgling their home, relieving them of their hard earned possessions, don’t be alarmed though as its the season of goodwill the decorations will remain untouched.

I have to comment about Sunday nights I’m A Celebrity.
The live trial was immense in which an ageing and bearded bloke who used to sport a mullet locked horns with Pat Sharp.

Fatima Whitbread was a certainty to win the challenge, being brought up in the UK care system she is used to being in close proximity to snakes and cockroaches. One cockroach even made its way up Fatima’s enormous nostril looking for a safe place to hide until the challenge was finished. Fatima snorted and snorted like a Henry Hoover in reverse but to no avail, the little blighter was too scared to come out and I for one don’t blame him, would want to come out and face that?

Finally I’ll leave you with a tribute to the tragic news of the death of a football legend this week:

A quick game of Hangman will lead you to his identity.

Former International football manager:  _ _ _ _/_ _ _ _ _

No comments:

Post a Comment